Carrying Imperfection

As I battle with my body through this winter, I wonder what the future years will bring. I hope to get a better handle on this disease, yet I know that the battle won't ever end, it will just take on a new shape. I'm contemplating getting whole genome testing to help identify where the mutation is in my DNA and provide information for future generations. I think about what I may have passed on to my sons and it makes me feel sick inside. 

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My DNA is broken and I don't know how to fix it.

The imperfection is part of my life as I wake up in the morning and test out my muscles to see if they'll move. The imperfection is with me as I put on a base layer under my clothes to try to keep my muscles warm. The imperfection is part of my body as I weigh each activity I do during the day, picking only the most important and always having a back up plan. The imperfection is with me as I pack my purse with water and extra potassium, just in case. The imperfection is with me each time I decide what to eat and think about what the consequences might be. The imperfection is with me in the afternoon when I just want a nap, but I know that a nap will most certainly bring an episode of paralysis, so I take more potassium and push through. The imperfection is with me when I lay down at night, wondering if I'll be able to move in the morning, as I turn on my heated blanket to try to ease away the constant tightness of my muscles. 

Everything reminds me that my body is less than perfect.

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Then I'm reminded that no matter how imperfect my body is, my spiritual DNA is perfect. I am a literal spirit daughter of God. It doesn't get more perfect than that. He is perfect in every way and I am His. And for now that's enough.

-Mary